Emergency!

David and I's short story.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1906avExUTqh-NLYPIGoXLSz6WODMZaZ_-XgvwHfA9do/edit?hl=en_US



Emergency!
by David and Michelle Ku
“Emergency!” read Radoosta on his message board.
A giant exclamation mark popped out on his screen. Radoosta reached out his right index finger to touch it.
“TADA!”
“Congratulations! You have just won a seven-month fishing trip to the Nitrogen seas of planet Koolant.”
“You must be kidding me!” Radoosta jumped up out of his chair, hitting the ceiling.
“Ouch!” exclaimed Radoosta.
“This time I will surely catch the fabled Elu fish!” He declared.
Unfortunately, he won’t be catching one in the near future, as planet Koolant is a dreary three-month trip from home, and nothing exciting ever happens on a spaceship.
Seven weeks have passed and Radoosta is nearly bored to death. He has gone through the same routine, the same food, the same drink, the same entertainment, as if the same exact day had gone by 49 times.
“Been----Bean-----Ben-----Ban”
“Huh what?” said Radoosta in his zombie-ish early morning voice. “What’s that annoying sound? I’m sure I didn’t set the alarm so early!”
“Been----Bean-----Ben-----Ban-----Been-----Bean-----Ben-----Ban”
“Fine, I’ll get up.” Radoosta threw up his blanket, jumped up from his bed, and stood up like a soldier.
“What’s this, Kon? Playing tricks on me?”
“Beep. Certainly not. I have no sense of humor. I do not have a ‘play tricks’ module installed. If you desire such a behavior there is a selection of programs on Amabom.com” The monotonic, computer-generated voice replied.
“Let me see. Where’s the ‘off’ button? I thought I put a big sign in front of the ‘stop buzzing’ button! Why can’t I find it?” Radoosta ran around the cockpit looking frantically for the right button.
“Kon! Where is the button?”
“Beep. You looked: five. point. one. minutes and passed over the button: six. times. Intelligence quotient: 46. Your green sign is right over there. Left wall.”
“Kon, what are you talking about? How can I not see a gigantic sign?”
“Beep. Intelligence quotient: 31. Your wall is green!”
“Fine, Whatever! Now tell me what all this buzz is about.”
“Beep. We are entering an asteroid belt. There is a 61.3% chance of collision. Ship speed too high to change course. You can start praying.”
“Don’t be so useless! Do something! Isn’t your intelligence quotient supposed to be off the scales?”
“Beep. There’s no use flattering me. I’m a computer. I do not fix things. I only do what I have been programmed to do.”
“Now, let me think. No, I can’t think right now. We are all doomed!”
“Beep. Lights off. Asteroid collision. Power generator damaged. System shutting down. Have a nice day.” All the lights around Radoosta shut off in unison, leaving him in total darkness.
“I can’t see anything! I knew I couldn’t trust a lifeless computer. I always have to do everything myself.”
Bling! A flash of light zoomed past the cockpit window.
“Light! Hope! We’re saved!”
Suddenly there came a grating noise from the back of the ship. Immediately, Radoosta glanced backward. Stars were gleaming before his eyes.
“Wait! What’s happening? Where’s the back of my spaceship? What’s that?”
Looking out of the window Radoosta saw that the blip of light was in fact a giant, an unusually shaped life form sparkling with visible energy.
“HA! HA! What a great surprise?” Came its slow, baby-like voice. “This will be perfect for Zoofi’s toyland! Zoofi will be happy!”
“What a disgusting sound! Who does he think he is?” Radoosta jumped out of his hiding place, wielding his tiny laser pistol and declared, “Whatever you are, you’re never going to stop me from going to Koolant.”
“A tiny human huh? You don’t even have control of your own spaceship! Who are you to talk to me?”
“You better have a good explanation for taking my spaceship apart, you ugly looking substance!”
“I’m the magnificent Sheemiba. You will regret talking to me like that!”
“Sheemiba? What a hilarious name! You call yourself ‘magnificent’?”
Immediately, the steaming Sheemiba grabbed Radoosta’s spaceship with his magnetic hand, intending to fling it out into the depths of space. In reality however, a loud crackle emitted from where the giant hand met the metal, and a visible flow of energy transferred into the spaceship, lighting the whole thing up.
“Wait! What’s happening? I can’t get it off. My power...!” exclaimed Sheemiba. The light around his body began to dim and his body waned, slowly at first but faster and faster until he was not much bigger than the ship itself.
“Nobody ever mess with Radoosta!” Came the triumphant cry.
“Ahhhhhhhh! How is this possible?...” Sheemiba’s voice was now a thin, reedy thread of sound coming from a collapsing ball of substance. Soon there was nothing left of him except for his giant hand, which soon loosened and drifted slowly off into the nothingness.
“Silly aliens.” Radoosta said snobbishly. “Don’t they know not to touch bare wires? Oh well, power is restored. Kon should be back on in no time!”
Sure enough, when Radoosta returned to the cockpit, the resident supercomputer was up and running again.
“Beep. System online. Power levels unusually high. This place is a mess. Better clean up.”
“Welcome back, Kon! You missed the most exciting fight ever! I defeated an ugly giant alien! Koolant, here I come!”
“Beep. You are hopeless. Intelligence quotient: 0.”